The Internet Isn't Real, Kids...

Cash Johnson one more time with a general malaise of updates for everyone. First, there are plans for an Adeptus Mechanicus Imperial Guard army afoot, mainly because I want a smaller guard army that still has badass looking models with lots of firepower. Second, I have been added to the roster for Team Megan's Law to travel to Adepticon in April for the 40k tournament (yay, Dark Eldar). Third, I hate younger players...

The day started off well enough with a 2,000 point game, my Flesh Tearers versus a friend's Tau. My list was fairly straight forward:

- Reclusiarch in Terminator Armour
- Furioso Dreadnought with Frag Cannon/Heavy Flamer in Drop Pod with Locator Beacon
- 8 Sternguard with Plasma Gun in Drop Pod
- 8 Sternguard with Plasma Gun in Drop Pod (again)
- 10 Assault Marines with 2 Meltaguns mounted in a Land Raider Redeemer
- 10 Assault Marines with 2 Meltaguns and Jump Packs
- 10 Tactical Marines with Missile Launcher and Plasma Gun
- 15 Death Company (8 Bolt Pistol/CC, 7 Boltgun/CC)

The mission was 4 objectives, 12" deployment. Long story short, 4 turns later I won 3-0 (called on account of not being able to dig me out in time). Sadly, it seemed one sided from the outset, as I deployed and went first, gunned everything I could towards the center objective while remaining camped on the two that were nearest to my deployment zone. While my opponent played valiantly, the three drop pods did their job of driving a spike into his front line Turn 1, then reinforcing the gap Turn 3 (murdering his Crisis Suits with rapid fire). All in all, a solid, decisive victory for Cash. I celebrated with Burger King.

Then the end of the day took a sour turn. A random kid came into the store, probably 14, and wanted a game. I decided to play him because I was the only one with 40k today, and its hard to hide an entire battle company in plain sight. He proceeded to tell me about his list: two Slaanesh Lash Princes, 3 squads of 3 Obliterators, and 3 Plague Marine squads with dual Meltagun in Possessed Rhinos, and how amazing and great his list was. I decided to teach him a lesson:

- Librarian in Terminator Armour, Blood Lance, Might of Heroes
- 5 Assault Terminators (2 Hammer/Shield)
- 2 Sanguinary Priests (1 Termie with Termies, 1 Standard in Sternguard)
- 8 Sternguard with a Plasma Gun in a Drop Pod
- 10 Tactical Marines, Plasma Cannon, Plasma Gun
- 10 Assault Marines with 2 Meltaguns on foot
- 5 Tactical Marines with Plasma Pistol
- 3 Attack Bikes with Multi-Meltas
- 2 Dreadnoughts, Lascannon/Missile Launcher
- 5 Devastators, 4 Missile Launchers

In three turns (his dad came to pick him up XD) I murdered one Oblit squad in cover, one Daemon Prince (in a single Shooting Phase), and took 2 wounds off the other prince with bolters (hooray special ammunition wounding on a 2+). I would have killed the second prince in combat with the termies, plus destroyed two of his rhinos AND the squads inside them in the next turn if we were able to go to Turn 4 - four meltas at point blank range, plus ALL my shooting at the squads inside, plus charging whatever was left. I do so love those moments where everything falls apart in a single turn and you're left shrugging as an apology for all the sodomy that ensued, but proving myself right is just as fun.

I won the game regardless, simply because in his haste to destroy everything that I owned, he failed to remember the most important rule of 40k: missions that use objectives require you to BE ON objectives (it was Capture and Control). I camped both Dreads, the Devastators and the 10 man Tac Squad on my objective, while he parked a Rhino in front of his, only too far up to actually control it.

The reason he took the list, mind you, was the Internet said it was a great list and it was unstoppable. I was able to stop it pretty cold, and with a list that wasn't even broken to begin with. Which leads me to ask, why do people build lists they see on the net without even doing research? Obviously that list worked for someone else at some other time, so why do they think it will work for them at all? This kid thought 9 Plasma Cannons would be great against my footslog marines, yet he lost 2 Obliterators' remaining wounds from Gets Hot, and the rest from insta-splat missiles. Neither of his princes did anything useful with their Lashes, and he even failed a charge through cover to get at my termies, who would have delivered savage beatings to the wounded prince that remained in the next turn. He parked his Rhinos to "block" me from getting to his objective, despite the fact I had 4 Meltas within 3" of both, plus a third squad to charge the surviving passengers with.

So if you're reading this, and you think you saw a pretty good list elsewhere on the internet and you want to build it for your own, remember this: just because someone else is Billy Badass with it, doesn't mean you are either. An idiot with a loaded gun has just as much chance of shooting himself.

- Cash

Tale of 40k Gamers Month: 1

So after years of my Rogue Trader/2nd ed Orks gathering dust in their bins I decided to join Warseer's "Tale of 40k Gamers". The rules are simple pledge any amount of points for an army you intend to start/finish over the course of a year. Every month you post 10% of your pledged total on Warseer with pictures showing your progress and completed models. You are allowed two "jokers" which are two excuses for not posting any work.

I have always admired the threads on Warseer and I thought what better motivation to get my Orks done then this? So my initial pledge is 1500pts I don't have any real plans to make a functional list as such. My army "theme" for lack of a better word is to paint up all the units as if they were different clans. Go with a very 2nd ed feel with the army certain clans belong to certain units and what not.

For my first 150 points I have painted the following:

Snakebite Kommandos x6 with Nob upgrade armed with 'Uge Choppa and Bosspole

Bad Moon Nob armed with Powerfist and Eavy Armor

Bad Moon 'Ard Boys x2

It took me awhile to get used to painting on white primer it is something I have never really given concentrated effort on. I am pleased on how the colors came out I can definitely change a few of my techniques but I am otherwise satisfied on how they came out. Not to sure what I am going to do for the next 150+pts but with an upcoming Malifaux Tournament and plenty of models to get done I will most likely start on some sort of character.

More Angry Space Knights

WIP pictures of my rhinos and two test crusaders. The crusaders are from the Assault on Black Reach set. The sculpts are beautiful. I've pledged to paint about 200 points of Black Templar a month in A Tale of 40K Painters over at Warseer. The overall goal is a 2,000pt army within a year.

Angry Space Knights

Apologies for the obnoxious size and quality of the pictures. My camera was lost in a drunken rage this past weekend, so these pictures had to be taken on my cell phone. Pictured above is a WIP Black Templar Rhino, one of two that will be in a 500 point list that I hope to have painted by the end of September.

This tank is the first model that I've painted in years. I'm not very happy with the highlights, but I am happy with the overall progress so far. I still need to finish the highlights, paint the details, and add some heraldry (crosses, scripture, etc). I would love to add some freehand design to the hull of the tank, but I'm afraid to ruin an otherwise acceptable tank with a bad attempt at art. Regardless, the second rhino will be a smoother operation.

The following is what I'll initially be playing/painting towards.


Emperor's Champion -- 140

Crusader Squad
5 initiates; 2 neophytes: 1 Meltagun, 1 Powerfist
- Rhino w/ Smoke Launchers -- 178

Crusader Squad
5 initiates; 2 neophytes: 1 Meltagun, 1 Powerfist
- Rhino w/ Smoke Launchers -- 178

Total: 496

One man crime wave... Seabolt!

Name: Seabolt

Origin: Nature

Affiliation: None

Occupation: Villain

Special Abilities:

Water: Is immune to "water" effects and takes double damage from "fire" attacks.

Annoying: The enemy does not gain a charge bonus.

Molecular Manipulation (2): Seabolt can modify his agility or strength while negatively effecting the other stat.

Immune/Difficult Terrain: Seabolt is not slowed down/effected by difficult terrain.

Exclusive Actions:

Spray: An attack that can hit multiple enemies (because of Ray rule), regardless if an enemy takes damage or not models hit by this attack suffer a -2 to their shooting attacks. Since a good amount of heroes tend to favor ranged combat this is a good ability to hamper that, the fact that it can effect multiple opponents is a plus.

Drowning: A basic strike that costs 2 AP, if the enemy is damaged all of it's actions cost an additional AP. I still haven't used this ability but that doesn't mean I do not see it's merit. With molecular manipulation Seabolt can make his strength a mighty 6! Which means he can be a beast with a strike. The only downside is that since strength is not his trump trait he cannot re-roll the result.

Flux: One of my favorite powers to use with Seabolt, it makes him spectral (making him immune to strength based attacks) and gains blitzer (2) so all his move actions gain an extra 2". Mix this with the following power and you get an idea why Seabolt is so well liked among villain players...

Go With the Flow: This action allows Seabolt to move 8" in a straight line (10" if he has Flux on) anything that was within 2" of that line is hit with an opposed roll against their agility. For every model that is damaged you gain a +1 to the next person that is hit by this attack to a max of +3. If that wasn't enough anyone damaged can be placed anywhere along the line that he traveled!

This ability is great because it can effect a good number of models and Seabolt will gain bonuses against other targets in the effected area. It also gives Seabolt a measure of control by placing models he has damaged further away from their friends or closer to your own models.

Team Power:

Smokin' Wet: Seabolt can freely leave combat without consequence and in addition the 2" area around Seabolt counts as difficult.

It's not easy being a bulwark...

Cash Johnson once again, this time with a somewhat-game-related subject, but not any game specifically. This post is more about my being a hardcore gamer, the difficulties of being non-neckbeard, and the work I put in trying to keep the local RT in business. It all started when I was about 9 or 10, and my cousin got me into AD&D - more accurately, I found out about it but wasn't allowed to play since I was a little kid and all. Not to be denied, however, I started doing research the best way I knew how at the time - I went to the electronic card catalog at the local library to find out everything I could, and wound up finding the original D&D books at another library. It was also around the same time I got into reading, having discovered there were interesting books outside of the realm of school - the Dragonlance and Ravenloft books specifically.

Then when I was in Fourth Grade, I convinced my parents to get me a copy of the Hero Quest board game, and my love of board games was further kindled. I also vaguely remember a game called Solarquest (which now goes for $168 on Amazon due to its rarity) that occupied much of my time as well. I also started getting into chess at that point, playing my dad every Sunday night at his prompting. So there I was, leaving elementary school, a nerd in training. Get to middle school and my gaming expansion changed - I learned about Rifts, Planescape, and Games Workshop (in its 2nd Edition at the time). While I couldn't afford to get into Warhammer 40,000 at the time, I was still able to follow along as best I could, while still playing in the world of AD&D to sate my gaming hunger. Years passed, games were played in earnest, and I left high school immersed in fantasy and science fiction, having read plenty of books in the meantime (none of which were ever for school).

So time advances even further now, in college, boxes of RPG books stored neatly in the back corner of my bedroom, when I finally have money to get into Warhammer 40,000 - 4th Edition, before everything became HURR SPESS MAREENS. I picked up the Battle for Macragge box set, since I needed the tiny rulebook, and decided to do Tyranids (though Orks have always been my first love) because they were way cooler looking than the Space Marines (and still are). The problem was, at the time, in-store gaming had pretty much died out at the RT I had been frequenting for eleven years by that point. People came in to buy GW, but already knew other people to play with and never came into the store to get games going anymore.

I can honestly say that I was the one to jump start in-store gaming at the RT again, and did it with a single printed flyer I had asked them to post behind the counter. I gave my e-mail address and asked other people to contact me as I wanted to play. It worked, and every weekend I could be found holding court with other gamers in a corner of the store. Then GW decided to create the 'Ard Boyz tournament, and the store was going to host it. Met more gamers, some who continued to come to the store after that for a while too. Games Workshop sales increased after the in-store gaming came back to life (thanks to my quasi-crew). We started playing during the week as well, and explaining the game to people who came in and were interested in what we were doing. We sold dozens of starter boxes to total strangers, helped new players buy models to match their styles, and continued holding court and talking shop. We enjoyed our privileged positions up until a little after the economy went to shit, and have been trying our hardest to keep the gaming community alive at the RT since.

But it's hard being a hardcore nerd in an economic climate such as this. Prices of minis have gone up. Prices of RPG books have gone up, and you can't just play with one or two books anymore either. Then there's the flooding of the gaming market - Games Workshop has a lot of competition now from other companies, and 40k has taken a backseat with a lot of people now that 8th Edition Fantasy is out and about. The biggest hurdle is trying to clean up the mess left by one of the recent ex-employees of the RT: he was a die hard Warmahordes fan and actually tried to sabotage Games Workshop sales (aka "the light bill") by converting everyone to play what he wanted (this is also the same guy who ruined Monsterpocalypse for the store).

The problem here is that GW is a collector's game - for people who enjoy building, converting, painting and playing a large scale game of total warfare. This worked great for the store over the years, as it was steady income outside of the December holiday season and kept people in the store. Now that Warmahordes is in the RT, it represents a double-edged threat to an already shaky market. First, it cuts into GW sales, which as I mentioned before has been the store's "light bill" for years. Second, The game itself is not sustainable in the long-term - once you own the minis you need, you're done buying. Because I have been going to the RT for 16 years of my life, I have grown quite attached to it, and as a CUSTOMER I think in terms of what is good for the store, not for me. I'd love to bring new games into the store, and the crew and I have tried on several occasions, but it's hard to convince a store to bring product in when they just brought another game in that has started to taper off already (they tried it with AT-43 and that was a MASSIVE failure for sales, everything went to eBay).

Right now, things are going okay at the store. The crew and I have managed to get a lot of people interested in Blood Bowl, with about 9 teams currently represented in the RT. Malifaux, Hell Dorado and Secrets of the Third Reich are next on the list, followed by Pulp City, AEWW2 and Infinity. There was a brief resurgence of Magic: The Gathering in the store as well, but that died out with the new sets that came out after M10. The main efforts at the moment are getting people in the store to play games, no matter what games they are - that's the only way to keep people buying products at the moment. We need to bring in other small, inexpensive games to offer options other than Warhammer and Warmahordes. We need to hold more in-store events and demo days. It's just hard when you're one of the few people who would actually take the initiative to do it, because you'd be all by yourself when the day is over.

- Cash

Ratty Reflections

Cash Johnson with another 8th Edition Warhammer Fantasy blog. Well, the 'Ard Boyz didn't happen at the store, mainly because of (from what I'm told) the GW Rep screwing up royal and not signing us up to host it - we made a Blood Bowl day out of it instead, but still... we wanted to play! In any case, the Island of Blood starter box went on sale this weekend, and I happened to get free minis out of a friend's purchase. I only wanted the Rat Ogre, who became #13 of Clan Xymox, but he offered me the rest of the rats as well, which brought about a single notion in my mind - I had already sold off 5,000+ points in Skaven to begin with, so do I really want more of them again?

The answer was a resounding "hell yes!"

So I now bring your attention to my original Skaven plan, which has eluded me for some time, and can now be done from scratch. I've always loved Clan Skryre, simply because in a medieval styled world, they brought about the most advanced steampunk technology, powered by magical cocaine. Chemical weapons, flamethrowers, machineguns, sniper rifles, magic-laser cannons... who WOULDN'T want to play an army like that? The problem with the previous edition of the Skaven rules was an all-Skryre list relied solely on casters and Warp Lightning Cannons to do the most damage, with Jezzails sniping cavalry and monsters and solo characters. Okay, so the all-Skryre list STILL has that as a core, but the difference NOW is new spells, better shooting rules, and awesome new support weapons (I'm looking at you, Mortar Team). To add to the fun, more named characters to throw into a list - specifically speaking, Ikit Claw. A level three caster with a 3+ Armour save is BEAUTIFUL, not to mention Strength 6 with Ignores Armour in combat, plus a one-shot Warpfire Thrower for free, AND a Bound spell that can cause 10 Strength 5 hits?! Sure, he costs 395 points, but that's a fair price to pay for a cyborg-wizard-rat that exists solely to cause damage and destruction.

So what's in the rest of my 2250 list on paper? Well, I based it on purchasing an Island of Blood for myself and repaying my friend the favor by giving him all the High Elves from it, so two starter boxes are factored in. As far as concept after that, I decided character-heavy would be the cheapest, and most powerful route for Skryre - lots of fancy gear and Magic items...

1. Ikit Claw - see above. 395 points.

2. Warlord (General) - Cleaver of Swift Slaying, Warpstone Armour, Talisman of Protection, Shield. 168 points.

3. Warlock Engineer (Lv 1) - Warplock Pistol, 2 Warpstone Tokens. 103 points.

4. Warlock Engineer - Warpmusket, Warlock Optics, Pipes of Piebald. Attached to Jezzail unit. 75 points.

5. Chieftain (BSB) - Hand Weapon, Heavy Armour, Shield, Banner of the Under-Empire. 97 points.

6. Chieftain - Ogre Blade, Seed of Rebirth, Heavy Armour, Shield. 97 points.

7. 2 Units of 30 Clanrats - Full Command, Hand Weapons, Light Armour, Shields, Poisoned Wind Mortar. 220 points each.

8. 1 Unit of 40 Clanrats - Full Command, Hand Weapons, Spears, Light Armour, Shields, Warpfire Thrower. 290 points.

9. 1 Unit of 25 Stormvermin - Full Command, Hand Weapons, Halberds, Heavy Armour, Shields, Warpfire Thrower. 295 points.

10. 1 Unit of 5 Jezzails - Sharpshooter. 110 points.

11. 2 Warp Lightning Cannons - 90 points each.

The plan is simple: shoot the living hell out of anything and everything I can. Lots of templates, maximum of five spells per turn, plus six rifles firing a turn (two at BS 4, one ignoring cover penalties) to take out larger targets quickly. The downside to a list like this is the lack of numbers. At only 111 models, plus Cannon crew, it needs to hit hard and hit fast in the first two turns to make any real difference - against swarm armies, this is INCREDIBLY vital. It will also require special dice to play - green dice for sure, with either marble or glitter finish, or else I risk insulting the Horned Rat. You may be asking why I don't take a Doomwheel at this point, and that answer is simple too: it is an uncontrollable chariot that would need to be doubled up to prevent being wasted early on, and the actual kit is a pain in the ass to build - the 'shiny toy' of the Skaven army book (as every new book has its shiny toy units).

Which brings us to the color scheme of the proposed army. When I think of any kind of magic, I think 'blue.' Perhaps it is a throwback memory to Magic: The Gathering, or maybe just the fact that I like blue, but that's how it is. At the same time, Skaven magic is 'green' because of their love of Chaos cocaine, so I went for a compromise - the cloth and uniforms will be Hawk Turquoise, but instead of using a blue wash, I plan to dirty the robes and such with Gryphonne Sepia (my ink of choice at the moment). Fur will be, for the most part, Dheneb Stone with Sepia wash over that as well (as evidenced by Clan Xymox). A lot of Dwarf Bronze will be used, with some Chainmail for accents, but primarily the Bronze color, which suits their style of mass-production better. Anything warpstone will, naturally, be Dark Angels Green with Scorpion Green drybrushing and edging. I also mixed a custom pink I call 'Rat-tail' which is perfect for Skaven, again washed in Sepia to muddy it up. I am thinking of using a yellow for the eyes with Rotting Flesh to highlight, but not sure yet - the Warlord and Engineers will definitely be using Scorpion Green for the eyes with another accent color.

Finally, what do I think of the Island of Blood models? Amazingly done (as you can see from Jonathan above in the picture). I appreciate the Warlock Engineer being all gunslinger, what with the halberd and giant backpack he's got on. The Rat Ogres are VERY nice, and the one with the blade arm would make a perfect Master-bred. I am thankful for both weapon teams, but none more than the Poisoned Wind Mortar - I love the WWI gas masks, and the fact they are plastic is even better, as much of my previous Skaven force was fragile pewter (and must always be handled with care else they break). The Warlord, however, is the best model of the Skaven half of the box (the Griffon being top prize) - the detail and pose of the Warlord is quite dynamic, and worthy of being my general. Now I just need to come up with moneys to get more rats. Probably sell my Empire. Silly man-things, thinking they can win.

- Cash